Quotes

Here are a few of my quotes (many documented in the Pirates of the Caribbean) - please give credit where credit is due upon using these lines in public.

Thanks,
Captain Jack

  • The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?
  • I think we’ve all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
  • Well Mr. Turner, I’ve changed me mind. If you spring me from this cell, I swear on pain of death, I shall take you to the Black Pearl and your bonnie lass. Do we have an accord?
  • “The Immortal Captain Jack Sparrow.” It has such a lovely ring to it…
  • A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around!
  • Worry about your own fortunes gentlemen. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers.
  • When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I’m Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You’re not a eunuch are you?
  • Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
  • Of the two of us I am the only one who hasn’t committed mutiny, therefore my word is the one we’ll be trusting. Although, I suppose I should be thanking you because in fact, if you hadn’t betrayed me and left me to die, I would have an equal share in that curse same as you.
  • Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.
  • Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.
  • Well, yes mate. See, I’m dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you need to watch out for, because you never know when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.
  • You can keep doing that forever, the dog is NEVER going to move.
  • The last time you left me a pistol with one shot.
  • Seeing as there’s two of us, a gentleman would give us a pair of pistols.
  • The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?
  • I think we’ve all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
  • I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that.
  • Elizabeth… it would never have worked between us darling. I’m sorry… Will… nice hat. Friends… This is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you…
  • Well Mr. Turner, I’ve changed me mind. If you spring me from this cell, I swear on pain of death, I shall take you to the Black Pearl and your bonnie lass. Do we have an accord?
  • Not if you’re the one doing the ambushing. I go in and convince Barbossa to send his men out with their little boats. You and your mates return to the Dauntless and blast the bejesus out of them with your little cannons, eh? What do you have to lose?
  • She’s safe, just like I promised. She’s all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we’re all men of our word really… except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.
  • Worry about your own fortunes gentlemen. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers.
  • When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I’m Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You’re not a eunuch are you?
  • Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
  • No. I expect to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name at all, watching me sail away on my ship and then I’ll shout the name back to you. Savvy?
  • Of the two of us I am the only one who hasn’t committed mutiny, therefore my word is the one we’ll be trusting. Although, I suppose I should be thanking you because in fact, if you hadn’t betrayed me and left me to die, I would have an equal share in that curse same as you.
  • No. *You* want you to find this. Because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and/or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your bonny lass, ol’ what’s-er-face.
  • Dirt. This is a jar of dirt.
  • Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?
  • I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Master Gibbs. Now where is that monkey? I want to shoot something!
  • Got it! Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got
  • I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what’s inside it!
  • Can’t let you do that, William. ‘Cause if Jones is dead, who’s to call his terrible beastie off the hunt, eh? Now, if you please. The key.
  • Ah-ha! So, we’ve established my proposal as sound in principle. Now, we’re just haggling over price.
  • You mistrust me? Listen, you can mistrust him, trust me.
  • Let us examine that claim for a moment, former Commodore, shall we? Who was it that, at the very moment you had a notorious pirate safely behind bars, saw fit to free said pirate and take your dearly beloved all to hisself, eh? So whose fault is it *really* that you’ve ended up a rum-pot deckhand what takes orders from pirates?
  • Have you not met Will Turner? He’s noble, heroic - terrific soprano. Worth at least four… maybe three and a half. And did I happen to mention… he’s in love? With a girl. Due to be married. Betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony, eh?
  • No. If we don’t have the key, we can’t open whatever we dont’ have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don’t have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
    Yep! I’m good wiv it. Shall we seal it in blood… I mean… ink?
  • Technically, I was only captain for two years, then I was viciously mutinied upon.
  • I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
  • Lum se se, eunich-y. Snip snip.
  • Cuttlefish… eh… let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish… bind them up together and they’ll devour themselves without a single thought… Human nature, in’it? Ooor… rather fish nature… So yes… we could hold up here well-provisioned and well-armed… and half of us would be dead within the month! Which seems grim to me no matter how you slice it! Or as my colleague so naively suggested, we can release Calypso, and God-willing, she will show us mercy… I rather doubt it. Can we just ignore that she is a woman scorned, the fury the likes of which Hell hath no? We cannot. And so, we are left with but one option. I agree with, and I cannot believe the words that are coming out of me mouth… Captain Swann.
  • Now, Will, you tell me somethin’. Have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressin’ damsel? Or… A damsel in distress? Or… whatever…
  • Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpiece to the brig.
  • This is not my vessel. My vessel is magnificent, and fierce and huge-ish and gone. Why is it gone?
  • Why would he do that? Because he’s a lummox, isn’t he? Well we shall have a magnificent garden party and not invite him!
  • And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?
  • Why should I side with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past… one of you succeeded.
  • I leave you people alone for just a minute and look what happens. Everything’s gone to pot!
111 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 March 31
    Violet Potter permalink

    “STOP BLOWIN’ ‘OLES IN MY SHIP!!!!” -Captain Jack Sparrow

  2. 2010 April 7

    I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what’s inside it! - Captain Jack Sparrow

  3. 2010 April 10
    Stephanie permalink

    Sticks and Stones love.

  4. 2010 April 11
    Saraj permalink

    It is not proper nor suitable therefore inadequate and unacceptable. It is an obvious fact an abomination.

  5. 2010 April 12
    He who comments anonymously permalink

    Oh yeah, well you smell funny.
    -Captain Jack Sparrow

  6. 2010 April 13
    Alice permalink

    Ello Beast!
    - Cpt. Jack Sparrow

  7. 2010 April 13
    Alice permalink

    Ello Beasty!
    - Cpt. Jack Sparrow

  8. 2010 April 13
    Jonny Wells permalink

    “Why is the rum ALWAYS gone…” - Captain Jack Sparrow

  9. 2010 April 13
    Jonny Wells permalink

    “Cuttlefish. Eh? Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends, the cuttlefish. Flipper glorious little sausages. Pen’em up together and they will devour each other without a second thought. Human nature, isn’t it? Or…or fish nature. So yes, we could hole up here, well provisioned and well armed, and half of us would be dead within the month, which quite seems grim to me any way you slice it. Or…um…as my…learned colleague so naively suggests, we can release Calypso, and we can pray that she will be merciful—I rather doubt it. Can we, in fact, pretend that she is anything other than a woman scorned, like which fury Hell hath no?”

  10. 2010 April 19
    Lexy permalink

    “Why would he do that? Because he’s a lummox, isn’t he? Well we shall have a magnificent garden party and not invite him!” ^^ love it!

  11. 2010 April 29
    Mike permalink

    Up is down. Well, that’s just maddeningly unhelpful.

  12. 2010 May 10
    Katerina permalink

    “I love those moments! I like to wave at them as they pass by.”

  13. 2010 May 10
    Adamu kankana permalink

    We hav arrived at a special place,spiritually,ecumenitically and gramatically..an applaudable performance

  14. 2010 May 11

    Has anyone come to save me just because they missed me

  15. 2010 May 17
    Mags permalink

    Complications arose… ,ensued, were overcome -

  16. 2010 May 20
    grmnshprds permalink

    Funny ol’ world, in’it? ~Cpt. Jack Sparrow~

  17. 2010 May 22
    Titus permalink

    “Kill him and cut his tongue. Then shoot his tongue” Jack sparrow

    • 2010 July 3
      Sarah permalink

      I absolutely love this quote! It made me laugh so hard the first time I heard it! Jack is such an amazing character! :)

      • 2010 July 12
        Bob permalink

        OMG! I knooooooow, Jack is the BEST!! <3 <3

      • 2010 August 9
        Autumn permalink

        ya!!! I absolutely LOVE him <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( i could go on froever with the exclaimation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I cant wait til March to see the fourth movie, to see my hero, Captain Jack Sparrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. 2010 May 24
    Yoda permalink

    ” Yo ho me harties! Yo ho!- jack

  19. 2010 May 24
    NinjaMaster permalink

    You will all remember this as the day you ALMOST captured Captain Jack Sparrow!!! :D

  20. 2010 May 26
    shelby permalink

    and that was with out a single grop of rum!

  21. 2010 June 4
    Abi permalink

    Have not slander and calamy. I’ve only ever embraced that oldest and noblest of pirate traditions I submit here now is what we all must do. We must fight, to run away!

  22. 2010 June 17

    hay, jack…

    u r just unrepairable…’

    tats off to captain ….

  23. 2010 June 19

    There’s no wind !! Ofcourse er’s no bloody wind !! — Captain Jack Sparrow

  24. 2010 June 21
    Sarah permalink

    i asure you he’s not among us
    where’s will
    not among us

  25. 2010 June 21
    Sarah permalink

    i asure you he’s not among us
    where’s will
    not among us

    drink up me heaties yo ho

  26. 2010 June 29
    Melody permalink

    Elizabeth: your going to have the opprotunity to do something good and once you do it, it shows something: that you’re a good man.
    Jack: I love those moments, I like to at them when they pass by.

  27. 2010 June 30

    you can throw my hat if you like…………………………..
    now go and get it

  28. 2010 June 30
    Sarah permalink

    Three of you have tried to kill me……*turns to Elizabeth* one of you succeeded.

  29. 2010 June 30
    Sarah permalink

    That makes you map man

  30. 2010 July 6

    And the best of all!!!
    Lord Cutler Beckett: “Your a mad!”
    Jack Sparrow: “Thank goodness for that because if I wasn’t this would probably never work.”

  31. 2010 July 9
    Samantha permalink

    “Ladies! Will you please shut it? Listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. No, I don’t love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I’ve never been to Brussels. It is pronounced “egregious”. By the way, no, I’ve never met Pizzaro but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my shi…p is once again gone. Savvy?” <33

  32. 2010 July 10
    Rachel permalink

    “Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness!”

    “Close your eyes and pretend this is all a bad dream. That’s how I get by.”

    XD XD
    LOVE YOU JACK!!!

  33. 2010 July 12
    Andrew Povio permalink

    “Gentleman, I wash my hands of this weirdness” - Captain Jack Sparrow
    “My peanut!” - Captain Jack Sparrow
    “Did anyone come looking for me just because they missed me?” - Captain Jack Sparrow
    “He was a bloddy pirate, a scallywag” - Captain Jack Sparrow

  34. 2010 July 25
    auwal saad permalink

    There is actually no need to trust a dishonest man.However, am gonna trust JACK d SPARROW.WOW!

  35. 2010 August 7

    Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid

  36. 2010 August 16
    Ken permalink

    Three of you have tried to kill me in the past, One of you succeeded..

  37. 2010 August 20
    bob permalink

    potatoe

  38. 2010 August 29
    monce permalink

    “well that makes you-chartman”!

  39. 2010 September 3
    luke permalink

    ‘let us not forget our dear friends the cuttlefish flipocanorious little sausages’ best jack sporrow moment

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